Several things to discuss:
First one, Im on hopliudays with my dad, lets call it the Hiatus, I really dont do ANYTHING with my time, some failed surf clases, some good, but nothing else, its such a pain in the ass to be held in this posisition.
Absolutley nothing could make me feel better if its not bringign Hanna along with me so that I feel like I got someone to talk to.
That is the main problem: The people I find it hard to be open with is my own parents. Inside hat circle the only person I really could talk to is gone. He asked her to leave and she is never coming back.
Anyway lets move on, my dad and I are sick. We have a cold, problem is that if Im a whiny he is the kings of these. Theres not ONE MINUTE that he is not feeling sorry for himself or just talking about all the things life SHOULD be about.
OKAY IVE HAD 17 YEARS OF IT, I GET IT!! YOU DONT LIKE PEOPLE. Jesus fucking christ.
Have you ever had the need, the NEED I tell you, to run away from wherever the FUCK you are crying and screaming at the top of your very lungs just to let out all the crap that is inside of you?
Well I get that feeling a lot and whern Im in a restaurant like tonight and I can{t really run out, I picture myself in my head doing it.
Its a thought that I turn to in a lot of ocasions. When I feel Im about to explode. But seriously EXPLODE.
I can{t even eat. I feel so uncomfortable in my own very skin the feeling just... I dont know I would like to fly away.
If it was that easy I would of done it ages ago.
Anyway Im coming home tomorrow and its the only thing that keeps me going. Being myself again, and talking to people who think of me as a 17 year old, not a 7 year old or a 27 year old.
Me.
The one they know, with my ups and my lows, my good days and my bad days, heaven knows I have them.
Where I can let go. And try to feel good in my own skin.
Does this sound depressing to anyone else?
I bet it does.
Anyway, Ill always be the same boring me.
I dont even know what else to tell you.
Im going to cry in the bathroom now.
I salute you reader.-
Dusty, bruised all over.
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3 comentarios:
CANDE!!!
NO TE OLVIDE!!
Y ESTOY VIVA
PERO TE DIJE QUE NO TENIA MAS CREDITO Y Q NO TE IBA A PODER CONTESTAR!!!
NO ESTES ASI TE LO PIDO!
MAÑANA VOLVES Y VAMOS A HABLAR!
PERDONAME POR NO PODER ESTAR PARA VOS COMO SIEMPRE PROMETO QUE VOY A HACER!
TE PIDO QUE AGUANTES UN POQUITO MAS! HASTA MAÑANA! QUE INTENTES ESTAR BIEN, QUE LLORES LO Q NECESITES, TE DESCARGUES, Y TE LEVANTES, Y SIGAS ADELANTE!! PORQUE SOS FUERTE! YO LO SE! AUNKE VOS NO LO CREAS SOS MUY FUERTE!!!
TE AMO MEJOR AMIGA Y PERDONAME.
porfavor intenta comer y estar bien en tu propia piel, se que es duro.
Hanna.
tell me what and why.
why can't i hug you right fucking now?
you can't imagine.
fucking incomplete. that's how i'm feeling.
it's so lame to miss you this hard. and harder everytime.
starting all over, that's what it is about.
i fucking love you so much that the four fucking letters on the love world are just not fucking enough.
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